{No 26.2 miles or bourbon for me today}

Posted in Pregnancy Journal, Running Pregnant by sneaksandstilettos

Today I was going to run the Kentucky Derby Marathon. I signed up in February after starting a training plan and successfully running three long runs on weekends in a row. I finished 13 miles mid-February and felt amazing. I registered and booked my flight and hotel. I pinterest planned my weekend…hot air balloons Friday night, race Saturday, Opening Night at the Kentucky Derby and mint juleps Saturday night. Maybe check out Louisville Slugger or a bourbon sampling.

Later in February I started not feeling great. I was so tired all the time. I was feeling nauseous off and on throughout the day. I was gagging on green vegetables. Alcohol hadn’t sounded good in a while. In early March my milk supply started dropping. What was going on?

I said I swear I felt pregnant several times, but that couldn’t be. I knew there was a chance I could be since we were on the not trying, but not not trying plan. EXCEPT I had taken two pregnancy tests the month before and both were negative and I had my period. It wasn’t until this happened that I registered for 26.2.

Except…I was pregnant. The tests taken slightly early for my long cycle. The period actually a hemorrhage that showed up in an ultrasound in mid-March after two positive tests the week before. Everything is ok now!

I could have never said a word about my plan to run 26.2 today, but I was following my dream and still getting after my goals. Even though I have not been frequent in blogging or instagraming as of late, I’m still working hard on my dream to run a marathon in every state. I am just once again experiencing a delay.

I’m not upset about the delay at all. How can you be when it means another bundle of joy. I’m sure this will temporarily make my goal and dream a little more put off and for sure even more of a challenge, but babies are only little for a while. Having one has taught me that the first year goes by so fast. There will be challenges, but it is only for a blink of an eye in a lifetime that these unique challenges exist.

My favorite running shirt already!

I’m working hard to balance being a full time working, pregnant mom of a one-year-old who is also a baseball coaches wife. Fitting in runs and workouts now is near impossible with the husband gone so much. Caring for my son, home and everything else some days feels like a workout by itself.

I’m still planning on some spring and summer races depending on how things are going. I already feel so much better running this time around. So much less pressure and discomfort. Time will tell. I’m sure I will again be documenting the journey to a family of four. Sometimes I still can’t believe it!

Currently I’m recovering from a nasty cold and my first experience with pink eye. Wash those hands people!

Stay tuned!!

Sarah

27Jan2016

{The things no one wants to hear, but are true!}

Posted in Uncategorized by sneaksandstilettos

It’s still January…the month of resolutions, goals and hope. Maybe you set some for yourself this year? I spent some time reflecting on my goals last night which prompted this post.

Over the past months I’ve learned a few things after losing 36 pounds of baby weight and then a few extra pounds (unfortunately mostly muscle). Combine that with being a runner for almost 18 years and I have some ideas to share.

None of these ideas are new, but they are the foundation of transforming yourself. Sometimes we ignore the common sense suggestions looking for an easy fix, but there really just isn’t one. Setting goals is a great start, but it is so much harder than a sentence on paper or in your mind.

Rather than cheer you on I’m going to say what may be unpopular and what no one wants to hear, but is true. The past 9 months and 39 pounds are evidence of these statements.

1) You can do this…maybe. Whatever your goals are you can find success, but it will be challenging and take sacrifice. If you can’t or won’t accept this, then you’re not likely to achieve your goal(s).

2) Body transformations take time. If it came off really fast, then you can probably gain it back equally fast. Instead go for slower but steady improvements that you achieve by changing habits that you can make your lifestyle not a fad.

3) Exercise is amazing for your mind and body! Stressed? Anxious? Depressed? Exercise can help with all of these things and help your body transform into a stronger and leaner you. You’ll like what you see in the mirror more, feel more energetic and happy, and be more confident.

4) Abs are made in the kitchen. I know people hate this saying, but it’s true. I’ve only averaged working out a couple of times a week since 4.5 months post-partum (5+ times before that when I wasn’t working), but I have eaten a dairy free and mostly healthy diet. I’m always conscience of what I put in my body and really believe food is fuel and you are what you eat (or feel like what you eat).

As much as I’ve never wanted to admit the level of impact diet has on results, going dairy free for my son (imagine no cheese, no pizza, no ice cream, no milk chocolate, very few packaged foods-most have dairy), has proven to me that it is significant.

I have to attribute most of my weight loss in the past 4.5 months to what foods I do and don’t put in my body. I knew I had limited time and was struggling to workout as much as I wanted to, so I really focused on food choices instead of just giving up on myself. The impact has shocked me into really believing abs are made in the kitchen.
5) Making mistakes is part of the goal and body transformation process, but getting back on track ASAP is a must. You can still find success when you work to overcome your setbacks.

6) Writing your goals down is more effective than saying your goals. Checking in with yourself weekly is needed to keep making forward progress and hold yourself accountable.

7) Everyday you have an opportunity to be a healthy role model to the little people in your life. What do you want them to learn by watching you? Healthy eating habits? Perseverance? Hard work? Determination? Pride in achieving goals? Overcoming setbacks? The list goes on!

8) To experience maximum success and feel your best you need to combine a healthy diet AND exercise, and make goals for yourself in both areas. I did not say execute both perfectly. Even the smallest steps in a positive direction in these areas will benefit you. In my experience, exercising makes you want to eat better and eating better encourages exercising. When one is missing from your life both seem to suffer.
Goal or no goal it is never too late to invest in your physical and mental health and start making positive habits. It is never too late or a waste of time to take care of the only body you get. You will be so glad you did. Make an investment in you!

I did and do! I’m still working on my goals, but subscribe to the above eight everyday! No magic tricks, not just luck, no easy fix-just hard work and determination in the above eight statements.

Let’s rock those 2016 goals!

Sarah

13Jan2016

{Confessions of a (Sort of) Mother Runner}

Posted in Uncategorized by sneaksandstilettos

I’ve been absent a lot lately from this blog and well, running too. I’ve been busy working on that whole balancing act called motherhood. Some days life is great while other days suck because of all the time you spend doing things you have to do rather than what you want to do (snuggles, baby giggles, get in a workout!) Mostly, it is nearly impossibly busy.

{Being a mom is amazing. Being a working mother runner not so amazing.} I’d hate for anyone to think that the working mother runner life isn’t a struggle each day especially after my recent childlike joy post was so positive. I like positive and uplifting. I like not making excuses and complaining about what you can control, but I also like real. Honest and real. And that is not always pretty, positive and uplifting.

{I used to think I knew so much.} I used to imagine what life would be like as a working mother runner. I laugh at myself now. Loudly. Belly laugh. Here’s to hoping this helps some future mother runners or others in the trenches to see even for people who love to run, exercise, etc. like myself, finding the tools to make it happen as a mom are another thing entirely.

Oh, and to working mother runners (and really any mothers) before me, I’m so sorry for thinking I understood. I didn’t. Now I do. Please consider my sincere apology while you read my confessions.

{I thought being a mother runner would be a lot easier than it is.} In reality it is so, so, so hard with an ever-changing routine, breastfeeding, working. I only have been finding the time to run/workout approximately once a week since my half marathon in October.

{I thought people who said they didn’t have time to workout after having kids were simply choosing not to.} I want to. I’m not choosing not to. I plan my day from sun up to bedtime in my planner just to make sure I don’t forget all that must be done that day. We have a daily chore chart posted in the house. These lists rarely afford me more than 5 minutes to just sit and think, stop and take a breath, or just do nothing. My mind is always moving at a million miles per hour nearly all the time. These lists though save me from Sunday meltdowns when I realize all the chores that need to be done when what I really want is all the cuddles from my boys before the very long work week begins.

{I thought loving something so much that you do it almost daily and consider it part of your identity would be impossible not to continue. Unthinkable even.} Who were those people who let their dreams become their past? Now I’m not even sure some days if I should call myself a runner with how few runs I’ve been on since going back to work.

{I thought moms who didn’t make time for themselves were annoying.} Now it turns out I’m annoying. How do you make time for yourself when there are 850 million things to do, 9+ hours to work in a day, food to be made, pumping to be done, a house to clean, …you get it. You probably know yourself. What the hell did I do with my time before kids? SERIOUSLY what was I doing before?

{I thought moms who lost themselves in motherhood were disappointing.} Remember I apologized in advance. All I could think of were the goals and dreams postponed or worse-lost forever. Talk about postponed and a picture of me comes up. I guess I’m disappointing. Being disappointing has never been so rewarding. How do you not be all-consumed when mothering those babies. Those little toes, giggles and toothy smiles just turn you into putty and make you want to do anything for their benefit. Missing runs, fun time with the girls, getting your hair cut and colored, taking a proper shower, eating-nothing is now more important than quality time with this little tiny person.

{I thought I would need my me time…and that need would keep me working out.} I do miss my me time, but not more than I miss my boy. I have a really hard time leaving my boy for a run when I hardly see him during the week. He pretty much has to be sleeping for me to leave. Not so easy for me when his wake up time fluctuates and I’m dead tired with a list of things to do after bedtime.

{I thought a mother runner could work full time, breastfeed, run and train for distance races all while being a present and involved mother AND find time to blog about it while looking put together because I have juggled so much for years.} Juggling motherhood with life is like adding ten more balls into the mix. At any given moment at least half the balls are on the floor. I’m not one to say anything is impossible, but let’s be real people. Doing all that is IMPOSSIBLE. Since coming to terms with reality, I’ve realized I’ve never read a blog post from or met such a person. Either they don’t work full time or they are not breastfeeding beyond the early months or they walk around a hot mess or something.

{I will not be running the Houston Marathon on Sunday.} When I was pregnant I refused to believe I couldn’t accomplish my goals while also being a present mom. A couple of months ago minimal training started to allow doubt to creep in on this goal of mine. I really didn’t want to hurt myself in pursuit of a goal I didn’t prepare for. I also was having some serious mom guilt and lack of interest in leaving Pierce for the weekend. I hardly see him Monday-Friday so the last thing I want is a weekend away from him. My flight times were at night and I’d be going alone to save money so it would be really hard to bring Pierce along.

Struggling to train and not wanting to miss the boy, but still wanting to achieve my goal proceeded to cause a lot of internal conflict within myself. That conflict was resolved in the past month by two things.

The reality of my breastfeeding situation took the edge off realizing I might not accomplish my goal. In early December I had about 10 extra bags of milk in the freezer. To go to Houston I’d need 19. I told myself if had a really good pumping month I could do this!!! Then I got sick for two weeks and I struggled to make extra milk since I felt like crap and was too tired to get up for extra pumping sessions. A couple of weeks later I got the stomach flu and became dehydrated and was only making an ounce or two at a time.(luckily this only lasted a day). As I watched those bags of milk disappear from the freezer, I started to accept I would not be running this marathon.
The ironic twist to this all came last Saturday when my stepmom had a close family member pass away. My dad and stepmom live in Texas and would have been coming to see me run and were the reason (along with visiting my sister) for choosing this race. They are actually in Wisconsin now and wouldn’t have made it to the marathon. I would have been alone at the race rather than visiting family. This would have made bringing Pierce impossible, too.

{I’m not as upset as I thought I would be that I won’t be at the starting line Sunday.} Getting race reminders stings some, but I realize that some things just are not meant to be. Goals sometimes have to be readjusted.

My point of these confessions is not to be negative. I also know this is my life and I owe no one an explanation for races I run and don’t run, but I think sharing struggles makes the difficulty in enduring them less. It also helps to show I’m only human like everyone else.

{I’ve realized it’s not my season. Seasons of life come and go, but currently running is not in season. I don’t know when it will be.} It still brings me joy. I miss it almost everyday. When I get to run it’s like paying extra for that really good produce that came from somewhere it’s in season…sweet, refreshing, addicting and intoxicating. It leaves you wondering why you don’t have more. Then you read my confessions and you understand.

{Despite not making it to the starting line of my past two marathons in the past couple of months, I remain determined to get into a better routine of running and to run another marathon sooner rather than later.} They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I guess that means I have to do some things differently this time.

{I value my personal goals, but NEVER at the sacrifice of my son’s needs or things that will benefit him.} For now running is spotty, not so fresh, often unavailable and I’m learning to be ok with that while also always working to be better about it. Do I miss the fresh stuff?

Confession-Without a doubt. Living in the Badger state has taught me that seasons come and go quickly. Every season has amazing things to enjoy in each of them and unique memories to be made.

{I’m not an expert at anything. I’m just a sort of mother runner trying to do something I love out of season.}

Sarah

8Jan2016

{That Childlike Joy}

Posted in I run because... by sneaksandstilettos

For the first time since having P I’m not talking about anything to do with him when I say childlike joy. Wednesday was a trying evening. All the demands and the to-do list got to me. I found myself saying, “I just can’t do this.” I was tired. It was past my bedtime. I was, you know, not at my best.

The following morning I was blessed with a two hour delay. An extra two magnificent hours to get some stuff done. I took part of that time to go for a run. Finding time for myself is near impossible, so when I’m given an opportunity to run I take it bad weather or not.

The snow was fresh. A blank canvas just waiting for my footprints. I love winter running days like this. Fresh snow on trees. Covered sidewalks means probably not slippery. Snow bank jumping. Being the first person to make their footprints in a path. A hard, but rewarding workout is almost guaranteed.

During my last half mile a favorite song that I wouldn’t normally run to came on, big fat snowflakes started falling and I felt the unfamiliar-these-days running high. When I turned on my street I felt an intense desire to make snow angels.

I immediately headed to the backyard and made a snow angel. I took in the peaceful silence that only winter brings. If you’ve spent time outside on a snowy day without wind you know what I mean. As I snow angeled away, I closed my eyes and felt the snowflakes hit my face. Big. Fat. Snowflakes. I felt like a child again. My heart was bursting with childlike joy that makes keeping a smile off your face impossible. My stresses melted away. The to do list gone from my mind.

And people wonder why runners run-especially in the winter. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it!

I hope you find some childlike joy this weekend.

Sarah

11Oct2015

{Maple Leaf Half Marathon}

Posted in Race Reports by sneaksandstilettos

Perhaps a million Saturdays ago now, the husband and I ran the Maple Leaf Half Marathon. I started this post shortly after and it has sat in my draft folder along with a half dozen other posts for months now. As much as I like documenting running on this blog there are bigger priorities now.

From a few months back!

We ran unprepared, undertrained and with over 5 months of accumulated sleep debt. You’d think this run was going to be terrible. I wasn’t feeling confident in myself or the run going in.

I’d biked 30 miles the day before my first postpartum half marathon on a school field trip on the Sparta-Elroy Bike Trail. It was my first time riding a bike in over a year. My first time running more than 7.5 miles in a year was the next day while running this half a marathon. I’d only ran a few times in the previous couple of weeks. Life just continued to feel crazy. Currently that has not changed.

The weather was perfect, the leaves starting to turn, and everything organized. We had a great run. It was really fun to catch up and the husband and I chatted it up the entire time. The miles flew by as the husband and I talked the entire 13.1 miles. No music, just conversation and catching up on our part. I could count on one hand the number of times we left our little man in the first almost six months of his life so this was big time!

The first few miles I was so uncertain and nervous for the end miles. I kept telling Ryan we need to not go out too fast, maybe we should slow down some.

Mile 1-8:41

Mile 2-8:45

Mile 3-8:45

Mile 4-8:51

12113299_1053149928036627_5784178352267599039_o

Seriously, I cannot explain this face. We all have those embarrassing race photos. This happens to be the only one taken during the race so I’m sharing it with the world.

By this point we were running near where my mom and step dad live. Knowing Pierce was there made me want to take a quick detour and check on him, but I knew it would probably be more upsetting for me to do that so I kept running on.

Mile 5-9:06

Mile 6-8:43

Mile 7-8:42

Mile 8-8:43

Around mile 9 I started to get a little tired. Luckily the turning around and heading back towards downtown had me optimistic.

Mile 9-8:59

Mile 10-8:54

Mile 11-8:38

As we neared downtown crowds of people lined the streets waiting for the Maple Leaf Parade to start. Most looked at us like we were crazy and were probably drinking already. Not a ton of cheering or music playing like I expected, but still encouraging.

Mile 12-8:33

Mile 13-7:29

Of course we picked up the pace for the last mile. I was honestly shocked about how good I felt running this half. I’m certain the combination of workouts during the previous months helped strengthen me overall (relative to being 5 months postpartum). 21 Day Fix workouts, Barre Classes, Yoga Sculpt and running were all helpful. Still it was an unexpected pace to finish at. The husband and I were pumped. Mama still has it…or had it. I’m not so sure these days.

Despite the horrible race photo, we actually looked pretty strong at the finish!

I’d really hoped to run another fall half marathon, but it just wasn’t in the cards. It sure was a great comeback race and gave me confidence for fast times later on. I’d love to make this race an annual one. What a fun way to kick off Oktoberfest!

Maple Leaf Half Marathon

Time: 1:52:56
Pace: 8:38
Overall: 261/572
Gender: 98/301
Age Group: 17/39

After our race it was time for playing with Pierce, visiting friends and then mommy and daddy time after bedtime that night. I enjoyed my first Bloody Mary since before becoming pregnant. I held out for the real deal at Del’s Bar. It was worth the wait. Adult time twice in one day?! That is almost unheard of.

Sarah

21Sep2015

{A Start}

Posted in Indianapolis Monumental Marathon Training by sneaksandstilettos

Last week was a start. I finally felt more in a routine with getting workouts in. It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t anywhere near the 30-50 miles a week I used to run. I think those days are over for a while. Improvement is a success right now. Consistency the goal. Starting my mission.

Monday-3 mile run with my boys.

Tuesday-3 mile run

Thursday-4 mile run

Saturday-Barre Class and Down Syndrome Awareness Walk

Sunday-4 mile walk

It was great to start a week with a run with my boys. It was rewarding to start a run when I didn’t want to in the evening and feel so glad and rejuvenated after I did. It was an accomplished feeling to start my Saturday morning out at barre class even though I could have slept in. All of these positive feelings began with starting.

Starting over, new, fresh, again, whatever you want to call it can be scary. But, not starting really seems so much more frightening. By having all those positive starts last week, it also inspired me to start something else that was so important to me before having a baby-running races. In the spirit of starting again, the husband and I registered for a half marathon last week. It is time to start running races again. Distance races.

I’d like to say training will be starting, but it is in less than three weeks. We will scrap together whatever we can to show up at that starting line on October 3rd. It will hurt and be great at the same time in a love-hate way only running can offer.

Of course all those exciting and nervous emotions have started to pop up and will only intensify in the days leading up to the race. I can’t wait!

On the food front I had another good week of mostly clean eating. If you don’t count the Oreo binge I found myself in after the husband brought Oreos home that is. Damn you, Oreos. What’s a dairy-free momma to do when she finds herself actually able to eat a sweet treat because it doesn’t have dairy for the first time in a long time. People talk about self-control. I used to have some.

Yummy New Recipes We’ve Tried Recently:

BBQ Chicken (we had ours with roasted potatoes and broccoli) (NOT 21 day fixed approved because we used store-bought bbq sauce)
Cilantro Lime Chicken (we eat ours on corn tortillas)
Peanut Butter Banana Oatmeal (I added chia/flax seeds for some extra omega 3’s)
Vegetable Egg Cups-Super easy and yummy to reheat.

Well, as much as she (I) can!

Start something new this week for you. Start something your future self will be proud of. GO!

Sarah

15Sep2015

{Run the Mile You Are In}

Posted in Indianapolis Monumental Marathon Training by sneaksandstilettos

Last week a coworker told me the whole mom juggling act will never get easier, but you will get used to it. I’m seeing what she meant already. Yesterday I teared up while pumping at work because I missed my little guy so much. Twice.

At the same time we are starting to all get a routine down of getting out the door, getting as much done at school as I can (with only half a prep and approximately 8 minutes of lunch after pumping this is hard) while also not getting home too late. When your kid goes to bed at 6:30 and two hours is all you see him most days every minute counts. EVERY MINUTE!!

Every minute means working out is still not more important than snuggles where you savor that baby soft skin and breathe in that baby smell so deep trying to permanently lock it in your memory. It’s not more important than giggles over my best pig snort or bedtime stories about barnyard dances and pout-pout fish. Of course not.

But working out is important because I’m more relaxed, calmer and better at the juggling act. My world seems better and more positive like the photo below. I can manage the chaos with a smile when I’ve worked out.

Last Week’s Workouts

Monday-Cardio Fix, 2.5 mile run, 2 mile walk

Wednesday- Lower Fix

Saturday-5 mile walk

Sunday-3 mile run

We tried several new recipes, but I will share those next week. I’ve also done really well with eating again. The saying abs are made in the kitchen must hold true. I still believe in working out and eating right as the most effective way to lose or maintain weight, but I’ve lost another couple of pounds mostly by watching what I eat. One more pound to go until I’m back to prebaby weight. ONE MORE POUND.

Working out as a family can also be a way to spend time together a few nights a week. Where we talk and coo about the world outside, make silly faces and sounds while we run and just enjoy each other.

We are still working on balance. We are running the mile we are in. It turns out one of my favorite pieces of running advice also applies to life. Run the mile you are in. The past couple of weeks I’ve let myself get caught up in how the miles before went and how many miles I have in front of me that I was forgetting to enjoy and appreciate the mile I’m in right now. I was worrying about the miles in the future.

Some miles are hard and challenging, but you keep pushing because the next mile might be better. Some miles are so effortless and blissful you almost forget your running. Some miles you want to quit. Some miles you decide to add on more miles. Some miles you reflect on the past while other miles you think to the future. Right now we are simply running the mile we are in!

Sarah

6Sep2015

{Working Mom Tries to Workout}

Posted in Indianapolis Monumental Marathon Training by sneaksandstilettos

This blog title was originally Houston Marathon Training-Week #1 until there wasn’t a lot of training to speak of. The past couple of weeks have been very challenging. I feel so discouraged because working full time and breastfeeding/pumping and being a mom AND finding time and energy to workout is way harder than I thought it would be. I made so much progress in August. I lost 7.5 inches and 6 pounds by 21 Day Fixing and running. I got to a point in my running where 7 miles felt easy again. I could feel how much stronger I had gotten in barre class. When I was home all day with little man it seemed easy (most days) to find 30 minutes to get in a fix and/or to run during a nap or go to a yoga or barre class while the husband was home. So, so much harder when working.

If you follow me on Instagram, then you probably noticed way fewer posts about working out and just in general. This is usually a sign that life is way busy and probably not in a we-are-doing-so-many-fun-things way. I seriously don’t know how other moms work, breastfeed, workout and have any time for anything else. I have so much to learn!

Since going back to work two weeks ago (first week was inservice and getting ready for school) I’ve had little time to workout. My day is jam packed and by the time the baby is sleeping at night I’m so tired. I was also single momming it Tuesday and Wednesday night this past week since the husband was gone. Combine that with an early September heat wave and no air conditioning at my house (it has a bad leak and we opted not to replace our air conditioner this summer since we plan to next spring when we also replace the furnace) and you don’t have a lot of motivation and desire to workout. We are regretting that air conditioner decision now! Oh, and our dishwasher died, too. By the way, I’m done complaining now.

Week #1-

Monday-60 minute walk and 60 minute Barre Class. (preheat wave obviously)

We love our Robeez!

Tuesday-nothing

Wednesday-I’m totally counting the National Guard Leadership Development obstacle/mission/team building stations we did at a nearby military base for four hours with my coworkers as my workout. Our entire middle school staff was divided into teams and we completed ten stations before heading back to school. Each obstacle required mental and physical effort. I found some pictures of military soldiers doing the same stations we did (source). We were obviously not in uniform, but we did have to wear helmets. If you messed up on the water events, then you ended up wet!

I was sore after this day from using new muscles and have a sweet ~~battle wound~~ bruise for my efforts (pictured a week later).

This was a pretty cool way to start the school year, and I’m pretty sure no one will complain about meetings next year. It also reminded me of my complete lack of upper body strength and how much stronger my abs were a year ago!

Saturday-4 mile walk with P and the husband. Quick 90 minute day date with the husband at a brewery for a late lunch. Only our second date away from baby other than an overnight once.

Sunday-Does making copies and working on your classroom until 10:30 at night count as working out??? I didn’t want to miss family time so I headed to school after bedtime.

Week 2-

Monday-2.5 mile run and meal prep for the week.

Easiest training update ever when there isn’t much to say. I’m realizing I’m going to have to get up earlier in the morning to workout (I HATE early morning workouts), but the thought of less sleep seems physically impossible right now.

Pierce still gets up three times at night. We are working hard at trying to cut out the last night feeding, but with just going back to work I feel like if he’s waking up it’s because he needs to. I literally see him for 2-2.5 hours a day before he goes to bed at night. I’m hesitant to put any more on him with all the changes recently. And he’s now napping in his crib with a pacifier 75% of the time (sometimes without a sleep sack even). Sweet Jesus, it’s a miracle. This kid would not take a nuk for 4+months. We bought six different kinds and then one day he decides he’s going to do it!! He still won’t every day, but most days.

One thing I did stay on track with was my eating. I meal prepped and ate clean for most of my meals over the past couple of weeks. I did say most. I might have had some Wild Berry Skittles at school, enjoyed a day date meal, and we may have eaten Culvers one night, but I’m proud of 90% of my meals. Now to avoid the candy corn and pumpkins! They are my favorite.

With 3.5 pounds to go until I’m back to my pre-baby weight I’m determined to figure this whole juggling act out. Tomorrow is a new day!

21 Day Fix Recipes I Loved The Past Weeks aka Yummy, Healthy Eats–>

Fruity Oatmeal Bake I put extra fruit in mine. So easy to reheat in the morning

Chicken Enchilada Soup (Husband made)

Hawaiian Pork Tenderloin This needed a little seasoning, but was good. (Husband made)

I still want to believe I can do this all. Here’s to a fresh start tomorrow.

Sarah

23Aug2015

{IMM Training-Week #7}

Posted in Indianapolis Monumental Marathon Training by sneaksandstilettos

Monday-7.25 miles (counted as last weeks miles)

Week #7 Workouts-

Tuesday-4.75 mile walk with friend, 30 minute upper fix

Wednesday-3 mile run/walk (ran 2 miles, then P decided he would not remain in his car seat in the jogger. Carried P and pushed stroller home), 30 minute lower fix

Thursday-2.5 mile run, 30 minute Pilates Fix

Friday-off

Saturday-5.5 mile run, 4.5 mile walk with daddy and P.

He just loves to look around. If he can see, he is happy. I see I missed some toe jams. 🙂

Sunday-7.3 mile run, 30 minute Yoga Fix (Lots of thoughts and emotions on the run today. It gets lengthy below.)

It was a perfect day for a run…except I really wasn’t feeling like going. P got up 5 times during the night. I was exhausted. I had things to do around the house and back to school is near. Not one to make a ton of excuses or back out on a goal, I set out for my Sunday long run (12 miles) that was scheduled on my training plan.

Along the way I felt the familiar tweak of a muscle that gets painfully sore from time to time since training for my first marathon nearly eight years ago. Earlier this week I wasn’t sure I’d make it more than a mile into one of my runs. Some stretching and easy running and it nearly went away.

I’m loving running and working out, but am feeling the challenges of being on someone else’s schedule and balancing all the new mommy tasks. I can’t just run when I feel like it or move a run the way I could in the past if something comes up. I’m feeling the exhaustion of a baby who has been getting up 3-5 times a night for the past three weeks after getting used to only one feeding a night for the previous five weeks. To make matters more difficult, when P stopped getting up only once per night, he has also stopped taking a bottle so well. Day time bottles from dad are usually ok, night-time bottles he refuses. Last night I got frustrated with P for being awake AGAIN and not letting his dad give him a bottle. In my head I kept thinking I had a long run planned for the morning and he was making it so hard to get up and run.

And then I thought, who gets mad at their baby because they have a long run the next day? I immediately felt guilty for thinking it, but the fact that I had remained.

According to the Wonder Weeks app he has been “storming” all month (love this app by the way) and will be for another 11 days. I counted. He is definitely going through some major development as almost everyday he wakes up doing something new. One morning he found his feet. Another day he began sticking out his tongue. He loves doing pull ups with his hanging toys. He adores knocking toys off his exersaucer that before he just stared at. He hates riding in his car seat if he can’t see the world around him.

As I got a few more miles in the familiar tired/weak feeling returned. It seems to show up near mile five in a run in the morning. I just can’t figure out my fueling with breastfeeding. I headed out on a longer route so I couldn’t cheat any miles. As I turned down a country road that would take me past one of my favorite trees, I started to ask myself why I was out there. If I’m not loving what I’m doing, then why the push? As my favorite tree came within sight, I stopped to stretch and think about why I was so eager to get back to marathoning. When I was pregnant I promised myself not to put pressure on myself to return to running or run to a point that I was overwhelmed and feeling unbalanced after baby. I have not been holding true to this. I’ve been putting lots of pressure on myself.

As I neared my favorite tree I thought about the logistical problems that recently arose with running this marathon in Indiana. I registered before our school calendar was out. We have inservice on Friday, so we are not allowed to take a personal day. I would have to take an unpaid day in order to get to the Saturday race. I’m ok with taking an unpaid day if it means a weekend of family fun. P is, however, not riding or sitting in his infant seat well as of the last two weeks. A two-hour ride took forever last weekend. There is no way he can make the 7 hour drive there AND back in two days. After putting him through a road trip to Boston, we don’t feel it is in his best interest to even attempt this drive, so I will have to run this marathon alone.

This presents another problem. I fall asleep really easy when I drive and I’m tired. There is no way I can drive myself 6-7 hours Friday, run a marathon Saturday and then drive the same distance back. I know myself. I will fall asleep. My goal of running 50 marathons in 50 states was always about exploring a state while visiting for a marathon, which I guess wouldn’t happen either. More importantly, I don’t want to be without my boys for that long.

My favorite tree…one of them.

I hate when people back out of commitments. I never make goals and not follow through with them. I’ve never signed up for a marathon and not ran it. I was feeling so guilty at even entertaining the idea of not running this race. I waffled back and forth for another mile beating myself up with my own thoughts.

As I made the turn towards town and home, I thought about how lately my heart, mind and body have not been so into this training. The song changed on my iPhone to the Zac Brown Band-Loving You Easy. I instantly smiled a big, dorky mom smile. I dance with Pierce to this song in the kitchen while I sing the words to him often and he smiles this biggest, heart melting smile each time I sing the chorus to him. Running along I was flooded with emotion and tears glistened in my eyes. I missed my baby. I could feel his soft skin. His little hand when it curls around my fingers when he nurses. The delicious smell of his sweet baby smell. His gummy grin. The way his whole body smiles when I walk over to him, limbs waving with excitement. All of this talk in my head on this run was not important.

The decision I’m waffling on is not worth the memories I might miss or the stress I’m putting on myself. I want to run what I feel like on that particular day based on how many times I was up the night before, how Pierce’s day is going, or around other family time. I just finished the 21 Day Fix today, and I really enjoyed doing the workouts, but combined with my training it is a lot. I want to make time for parts of both, not do both. A run here, a 30 minute fix there. Balance. I’m also loving my weekly yoga class that I missed twice since picking up training.

I always believe in honesty and hate how social media often makes life look so perfect and cookie cutter. Life is messy. My cookies never roll out perfect each time. This is just another example of that. So, I’m 95% I won’t be on the starting line of the Indianapolis Monumental Marathon like I planned and thought I wanted to be. Instead I will aim for the Houston Marathon in January as my first marathon after baby. I have my sights on a fall half marathon or two since this distance is much more manageable for me right now.

I don’t regret setting this lofty marathon goal only to change my mind. It’s not a failure. For the $50 I paid back in December I got my butt moving after having a baby. I walked a lot so I’d be able to start easy running sooner so I could then start training for this race. I credit this goal with getting me back out on the pavement and to yoga sooner than I would have without a goal. This helped me remember to give myself some time each day and got me outside with baby early on.

My marathon goal also helped me gain some much needed perspective. I want to do it all. I want to be a good mom, wife, friend, daughter, sister, runner, teacher, …and on and on. But, we can’t be perfect at all of them all the time. Focusing on what is important led me to realize that my goal to arrive at the starting line of my next marathon with balance in my life just isn’t possible right now as a new mommy.

Balance right now means not training for a marathon that will happen in just over two months. Balance right now means not following an exact training plan and giving myself some flexibility with accountability. Balance right now means a run one day, yoga another, and coffee and serenading my sweet baby everyday. Loving him is easy. Making this decision wasn’t at first, but in the end I know I will enjoy this time even more without the pressure I’m putting on myself. I will be a better mom to P. A nicer wife. And that’s what really matters…along with singing and dancing in your kitchen, which is exactly what we did as soon as I got home from my run.

Cue the chorus!

Look to see a post each week as I continue running, 21 day fixing and working on balance with this whole new mom thing.

Sarah

And, in case you wondered…

Weekly Miles Ran-17.3 miles not counting Monday’s 7 miles

21 Day Fix Recipe(s) I Loved This Week aka Yummy, Healthy Eats!

This was so good. I was skeptical since the flat-out is so thin, but it was delicious. Minus the vegan cheese-Think Kraft singles, but so, so much worse.

Flat-Out Pizza

18Aug2015

{IMM Training-Week #6}

Posted in Indianapolis Monumental Marathon Training by sneaksandstilettos

Week #6 Workouts-

Tuesday-30 Minute Upper Fix

Wednesday-3.25 mile run (really excited about my pace for this run), 3.25 mile walk, 30 minute Lower Fix

He does nap well most day!

Thursday-15 minutes of Pilates Fix. My sweet boy did not nap well. Then we had a pool day playdate planned. Mommy had no workout time!

Friday-30 minute Cardio Fix and 3 mile run

Saturday-Consoling and comforting an upset baby who did not want to ride in the car. Yes, this is a workout.

Sunday-Trying to get an over tired child to sleep. Again, this is a workout.

Monday-7.23 mile run

C9 tank from Target is on clearance for $11.98 right NOW!

Week 6 Total-13.5 miles

If you follow me on on Instagram, then you noticed a post last night that alluded to a rough workout week. I had been doing so well until Thursday. Missing workouts had nothing to do with making excuses or lack of motivation. Quite the opposite. For the first time in a while I had been back on track. Then life as a new mom sort of just hit. A child that wouldn’t nap on Thursday. An out-of-town wedding and a child that wouldn’t ride well in the car meant lots of stops to console and comfort and no workout time on Saturday. A still over tired child from not napping well and getting up frequently at night over the past couple of weeks and more car riding back home meant no caffeine for mom until the afternoon, a nasty headache and again no time to workout.

We had a great time at the wedding. It was just the getting there and back part that was rough. And to think this kid made it to Boston and back without much of an issue.

Monday I worked a full day at school and came home to cooler temperatures, a well rested boy, and a determination to run and get in a good workout like no other. After the little man went to bed and had been out for a half hour I hit the pavement. I stopped home for what I thought was a quick drink of water after 7.23 miles. I had been feeling stronger than ever and was determined to reach my goal for that day of ten miles. Except upon arriving home I saw a note on the front door rug. Someone had been up and was upset. I felt bad for not being there after being away all day. My husband wanted a break. My run was done.

And I’m learning to be ok with this. My goal was to arrive at the starting line of my next marathon with balance. Working out everyday is not something that is likely to happen for me. Finding 30 minutes in my day for 21 day fix has been easier than I thought it would be, but somedays it just may not happen. I’m learning not to beat myself up about missed runs or workouts. By cross training for the first time ever, I feel stronger on my runs and am hoping this compensates for some missed miles. I would rather miss a workout here or there than feel the mom guilt of not being there for my son. Too much time being mommy and not enough working out isn’t good either as I get more impatient and worked up with my son. Balance. Learning to practice what I preach.

Earlier in the week before our stormy time with baby I had some time to find the below 21 Day Fix Finds and we made Ziti. See below for these helpful tools and a new recipe, too.

21 Day Fix Finds-

I’m all about pretty documents to stay organized and prepared. I didn’t make these, but found them on Pinterest. Why reinvent the wheel?
Measurement Tracker-It’s all about data! I only did my measurements at the beginning, middle and will at the end. Weight I’m looking at every 7 days.
Container Cheat Sheet -This is on on my refrigerator right now!
Meal Tracker-If you want to be so detailed. I often meal planned in the past so I might use this if I find the time. Could be helpful for others.

Recipes-
Baked Ziti add zucchini to get in some extra veggies.

This week is the last week of my first round of 21 day fix and it ~~has to be better~~ will be better than last week workout wise.

Stay positive. Keep working on balance. We can do this!

Sarah